Question?
::: How to help a friend without meddling in her personal life and without affecting my work relationship with his hubby? :::
Situation:
THE HUBBY : My Officemate
I have a friend who has a husband that has been fooling around with girls and with alcoholic drinks for months now. Not that I’m interfering with their personal life or whatever but what irritates me is that my officemate vices is affecting his work performance and his relationship with her wife, which is a friend of mine.
Just like today, he said that he will take a leave today because he said he’s not feeling well but the truth was, he just came home this morning after a long night out with his beer friends last night! Well, I got the news from his wife who texted me this morning about her hubby’s bad deeds. Now, my friend is asking me to suspend him or report it to our boss so that he would be suspended and he would learn his lessons. But how can I do that if I don’t have proofs to show to my boss?
They have been like this for months now, to the point that they separated for a while but were together again after a long talk with their parents. But now, it’s coming back again. The guy didn’t learn his lessons yet. We had given thousands of advice to his hubby but no effect parin! (Hay, nasa dugo na nya tlga ang babae at alak!) That’s why my friend was down and dead tired and wants his hubby to be gone (literally). I really want to help her but her hubby doesn’t listen to us. I don’t want to dig further into the situation because it might not be healthy for the 3 of us. But I just feel so sorry for my friend, now what should I do?
by Calvin, on October 4 2008 @ 1:41 pm
hmm mahirap naman yung situtation na yan para dun sa wife. if ur to ask me, all she can really do is pray na magbago na asawa nya and continue to be the best wife that she can be (although really really hard).
as dun sa office naman, just let his boss know siguro to monitor his performance and activities closely tapos sya nang bahala on what to do.
have a good day eds! pag-pray mo na lang rin yung friend mo.
by berryblitz, on October 5 2008 @ 1:48 am
ipit ka sa gitna ah
by milet, on October 5 2008 @ 10:46 am
i think eds, the wife has to be firm. although sa mga ganyan our tendency is to help a friend pero most of the time tayo mapapasama. lalo na if you do what the wife is asking you to do para sa suspension ng asawa nya.
i guess the guy has to be face to a much challenging situation. ung suspension won’t be an answer.
by mye, on October 6 2008 @ 12:47 am
for me, if all the talks are all but in the drain, then the wife should decide on whats the best for them. saka its quite personal and baka nga mamisinterpret ng office mate mo ang advice mo sa kanila.
by Vannie, on October 6 2008 @ 1:31 am
do they have kids na?
for me - hirap talaga to meddle. but if it was me i’d butt out. pero i will warn the hubby. i’l let him know na i will not hesitate to tell his wife everything if he does not stop.
by architect, on October 6 2008 @ 2:09 am
grrrrr!!! di tama yan… just ec dropping here.. be back for the comment dropping later..
sweet..pretty..naughty
Memory Filled
Sweety tots
#149
by Sherry, on October 7 2008 @ 11:53 am
my friend’s hubby also fool around they ended up divorce
by Sharon, on October 8 2008 @ 8:05 pm
This is a very delicate subject. Getting even more deeply involved may cost you your friendship with both. Are his actions causing you turmoil with your work? More work load, later hours, etc? If so, maybe you should approach it from that standpoint instead of the “you need to get along with your wife” angle that does not seem to be working anyway.
Is he a chronic cheater? Does he even feel one bit of remorse for his actions? How does she approach matters? Is she accusatory and cold? Does she want to rekindle the relationship? Or, is she just looking for ways to hurt him back (aka, getting him suspended at work)? There was an article on MSN.com the other day asking the question, “Why do men cheat?”. It was very interesting and made me post the article on my site, “Does your spouse feel appreciated?” There just seem to be too many unknown factors to give any decent advice that won’t get you in trouble.
by Sherry, on October 9 2008 @ 7:31 am
another classmate of mine told me when she’s pregnant her hubby fool around.
so sad he just don’t appreciate her.